SMITH OP-ED: This Isn’t Getting Better Anytime Soon

(‘John Smith’ is a Triangle area business owner, originally from the coast of NC, and formerly a state regulator.)

My wife hates fire ants. Heck, I hate them too, but she seems to have a special passion of hatred for what she calls Satan’s pets.

A devoutly Christian woman, her language becomes that of a dredge boat captain with his pipe string loose and being swept away in the tide when she gets stung by one. Good thing the preacher’s not around, but he probably wouldn’t say anything. He’s been stung too.

We were washing off some tarps the other day and my wife took the hose and spray nozzle and began melting their little dirt palaces of torment from the safety of the sidewalk. I asked her what she was doing and she didn’t answer. I told her they would have them built back by tomorrow, bigger and better. But she didn’t care. Some things just make us feel in control and better about our surroundings, no matter how useless.

So it is with Fauci’s emails. Does it really surprise anyone the Democrats ordered up a plague to cheat Donald Trump out of office? You might ask who could be so evil to loose an epidemic on the world that has killed 4 million people?

Well, if you consider Democrats are the primary advocates and sponsors of abortion, that, by comparison kills 40-50 million per year worldwide, the notion is not that far-fetched.

If we can alter genes now and create chimeras, or new life forms, why can’t we order up something useful, something that can take care of, say fire ants. If Fauci is taking orders, my vote is for an anteater, genetically modified to have a taste for our ghost pepper level hot ants. And while we’re at it, add a big rack of antlers and have it taste like filet mignon.

But Fauci would probably forget what he was doing and give us instead a possum the size of a cow, genetically modified to prefer standing in the road in the middle of the night. Biden’s not the only one with dementia, you know.

Maybe we could persuade Trump to say he loves fire ants for some reason, and have the liberals destroy them within a week, but most likely they would just claim fire ants don’t really exist. CNN and MSNBC would run with it.

So I pull out the driveway going to town and wave to the preacher. He’s standing on his walkway talking to the dredge boat captain while spraying little black mounds of dirt in his yard with the water hose. I’m afraid this isn’t going to get better anytime soon!